Not Bridal, But Not a Feminist

Such a dirty word, so charged. I am not afraid of being one, I just am not sure this word has any real relevance or power in the twenty-first century. Kind of like libertine. Any man you know offended by being called a libertine these days? It´s a term on its way to obsolescence. And I´m not sure that´s a good thing. There are definitely too many women out there sabotaging the strides that were made during the course of the last century, from suffragettes to senators. We at Not Bridal are pro-choice. We are also pro-family and pro-progressive family. We are pro-working mom and stay-at-home mom. Personally, we are also pro-nanny. Old nannies with snaggle teeth and warts. But we don´t judge. Well, we judge, but about pettier, less political issues. Like your shoes. They suck. Change them.

This was a long-winded way of starting to say that I like being domestic. As I get older and due to my particular situation, in which, currently, my finace and I have assumed sort of traditional social roles. I like food shopping. I like using the term "the household budget". I like presenting him with dinner, looking sort of proud and sheepish. Please, don´t misunderstand, I am not a¨serve your man, crunchy conservative, promise keeper, betty crocker, back-to-the-kitchen" kind of woman. I would work. Sometimes I like working outside of the home. And I expect, at some point, I will. Because that´s the kind of model we´re creating here. It´s not based on an Eisenhower-era premise, or a DINK 80´s upward mobility thing, but something else. Something Not Bridal. Something technomadic.

Woman´s Work is an idea I was fond of as a teenager. Sewing, knitting, baking, all the things my mother didn´t do, but that I understood as important, useful and creative. I studied, from a cultural anthropology perspective, how woman make community richer through their skillful diligence. In many cultures, hunting, gathering, harvesting, tending the animals, mixing dyes, crafting bowls, the work of provider and artisan, was the jurisdiction of women, young and old. At this imressionable time I was also inspired by Nigella Lawson, foxy and buxom, a lover of food and the hearth. She made cooking lovely things seem fierce and smart. There has been a resurgence of late of knitting with groups like Stitch n Bitch meeting in cafes all over America and hipster chicks clicking their needles on the L train. A softening was necessary. In response to what directly preceeded us. We took our cues from our grandmothers and those before them.